Date After Breakup: Getting your heart shattered is one of the most devastating experiences in life. Can it be too soon after a split to get back into the dating scene? Breaking your heart is one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. Besides being extremely depressing, there is a slew of other feelings that can accompany it.
These include a mixture of wrath, regret, bitterness, and even joy in certain situations. It’s not just dealing with a flood of emotions that might be difficult after a breakup: After a breakup, navigating the dating scene may be difficult, especially if you’re concerned about it being “too soon.” Is it ever too early to start Date After A Breakup?
Is it possible to assess if you’re ready to get back into the dating pool after a painful breakup? Brooke Bergman, a relationship and dating counselor, tells Bustle that “the biggest sign that you’re ready to date again is your want to date again.” “It’s typically a sign that you’re brave enough to risk getting brokenhearted. To feel ready one day and unprepared the next is quite natural. When someone is afraid, I tell them not to succumb to it. Rather than allowing fear to steer our lives, we should sometimes embrace it.”
Have A Positive Mindset
It’s reasonable if you’ve just been through a traumatic breakup that you don’t feel excited about starting over again. However, if you want to be a successful dater, you should attempt to have a cheerful attitude. Iannetta stresses the need of adopting a good attitude when re-entering the dating scene. You have a better probability of succeeding if you have an optimistic attitude.
Reflect On What You Do And Don’t Want In A Partner
After some time has passed since your last relationship, you can look back and see what worked and what didn’t, and utilize that information to help you find the person who is truly perfect for you this time around. Consider the positive and negative traits your former possessed, advises Yannotta. Put them in two separate lists” (positive characteristics and negative characteristics).
Make sure you do this for all of your ex-lovers. Make a list of the values you hold dear. From this point on, you can put down on paper the kind of person you should be on the lookout for in the actual world. You’ll feel more in control and more focused, which will help you find a long-term partner.
Take Time To Heal
It’s crucial to check in with yourself before reentering the dating pool to see if your heart can endure the various ups and downs of dating. Consider whether you’re ready to start dating again if you’re still texting your ex while you’re drunk or weep yourself to sleep when you think about the breakup.
Dr. Nikki Goldstein, a sexologist, relationship expert, and author of the book Single But Dating advises Bustle, “Make sure that you spend enough time healing and working through prior difficulties and hurt” before entering back into the dating scene. To heal from a breakup, you have to get back out there in the dating scene and do the rest of it while you’re doing so.
Don’t Compare Dates To Your Ex
The temptation to compare every new person you date to your ex after a breakup is understandable, but it’s an unhealthy habit you should strive to overcome as soon as possible.
Heather Ebert, a dating expert at What’s Your Price, tells Bustle that “the biggest challenge I’ve seen individuals encounter while Date After A Breakup is not comparing the people they’re seeing to their ex.” A large “don’t” that for some reason is an exceedingly frequent and difficult habit to break among humans. As a result, it can cause a lot of sorrow to the other persons involved if it is made public.”
Take Things Slow
Date After A Breakup, it’s crucial to remember to take things slowly, especially if you tend to jump from one relationship to the next. There is no need to continuously arrange dates or rush into an early romantic commitment.
According to Ebert, “Take your time getting back out there, don’t feel rushed to divulge that you’ve recently been through a split, and don’t try to move a relationship too rapidly.” “Relax, play, and enjoy yourself.”
Don’t Forget About Your Friends and Family, Too
You may be tempted to go into dating overdrive if you use a dating app or ask your friends to introduce you to their single buddies. In the aftermath of a split, it’s crucial to focus on other aspects of your life, rather than just seeking a new romantic partner.
A matchmaker in Chicago, Stef Safran of Stef and the City, tells Bustle, “Be open to having hobbies, making new friends, and NOT focused entirely on dating,” she says. If you’ve got a life, you can find dating a lot easier because you’ve got other things to do.
Have a Clear Goal in Mind
Date After A Breakup, it’s important to keep an open mind, but you shouldn’t set yourself up for disappointment by having high expectations. If you expect to meet your soul mate straight soon, you may miss out on the opportunity to appreciate being single and live in the now.
Don’t Talk About Your Ex/The Breakup On A Date
Talking about your prior relationships and how they’ve shaped you shouldn’t be a topic of conversation when you’re out on a date. That is until you’re starting to become serious with someone.
As Rappaport puts it: “Avoid talking about or telling your dates how badly you have been hurt” by your ex-partner while on a date. If you’re furious or irrational, you’ll scare away any potential romantic partner.” Unless you’re considering establishing a relationship, it’s not important to bring up former relationships.
Be Your Authentic Self
After a breakup, what’s the most important rule for dating? You’ll never meet your soul mate if you’re not honest with yourself when you’re out on dates. All you can do when dating is listen to your emotions and trust your instincts. You must always put yourself and your happiness first, regardless of whether you want to play the field, remain single, or find your next love.